Sarah Palin Information Blog

Sarah Palin Web Brigade

  • Upcoming Palin Events

  • Sarah Palin’s Endorsees

  • Sarah Palin Channel

  • Amazing America

  • The Undefeated

  • ‘Stars Earn Stripes’

  • ‘Game Change’ Lies Exposed

  • Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting the Heart of Christmas

  • Our Sarah: Made in Alaska

  • America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith, and Flag

  • Going Rogue: An American Life

  • Other Sarah Palin Info Sources

  • Login/RSS

  • Governor Palin on Twitter

  • @SarahPalinUSA

  • Governor Palin on Facebook

  • SarahPAC Notes

  • RSS SarahPAC Notes

    • An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.
  • SPWB on Facebook

  • SPWB on Twitter

  • @SarahPalinLinks

    Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

  • Join the SPWB Twibe!

  • Posts by Date

  • Categories

  • Archives

  • __________________________________________
  • Top Posts & Pages

  • __________________________________________
  • Recent Posts

  • Recent Comments

  • __________________________________________

How Do You Solve a Problem Like a Levi?

Posted by ehvogel on July 15, 2010

He climbs a tree and scrapes his knee
His jeans have got a tear
He struts his way to Bible class
And whistles on the stair
And underneath his ball cap
He has moosed his curly hair
I even heard him swearing in the alley

He’s always late for supper’s grace
But his penitence is real
He’s always late for everything
Except for every meal
I hate to have to say it
But I very firmly feel
This Levi’s not an asset to the galley

I’d like to say a word in his behalf
That Levi makes me laugh

How do you solve a problem like a Levi?
How do you catch a clown and pin it down?
How do you find a word that captures Levi?
A Hollywood fake! A pin-up you say? A clown!

Many a thing you know you’d like to tell him
Many a thing he ought to understand
But how do you make him stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sands

Oh, how do you solve a problem like a Levi?
How does a Ricky Hollywood shake hands?

When I’m with him I’m confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
He’s as phony as fake leather
He’s a darling! He’s a demon! He’s a sham!

He’d out-pester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
He would kick a spinning X-Box to be rude
He is gentle! He is wild!
He’s a riddle! He’s a child!
He’s a headache! He’s an angel!
He’s a dude!

How do you solve a problem like a Levi?
How do you catch a clown and pin it down?
How do you find a word that captures Levi?
A Hollywood fake! A pin-up you say? A clown!

Many a thing you know you’d like to tell him
Many a thing he ought to understand
But how do you make him stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sands

Oh, how do you solve a problem like a Levi?
How do you hold a dill-weed in your hands?
—————————————————-
My humble apologies to Rogers and Hammerstein.

Cross-posted on Generational Dysfunction

Advertisements

2 Responses to “How Do You Solve a Problem Like a Levi?”

  1. Joy said

    Somehow this older email got stuck in the inbasket and never opened to be read, but I’ve read it now – and WOW! Mr. Vogel, did YOU dream up this masterpiece? It’s a beaut – and it SO captures the paradox-cum-cad that’s Levi Johnson!! But now, please God, let him stay far away for good & all – and let Bristol get on with her life!

    Cut your losses, Ms. Palin, and try to get past Levi. It won’t be easy, and you’ll probably have many a sad & tearful moment over the next couple of years; but, with time, “this, too shall pass,” and one day you’ll look back on this and say, “What EVER did I see in that cad?!?”

    Not only does “Time heal all wounds,” but “wounds all heels!!”

Leave a Reply to ehvogel Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: